On the death of bin Ladin

Last night a strange thing happened on Facebook. I noticed amid the patriotism, a growing undercurrent of admonition against the excitement. Almost 10 years after thousands of American lives were needlessly cut short on September 11, the mastermind madman was finally taken down. Ezekiel 18:23 and Proverbs 24:17, were the most popular verses last night among A LOT (far more than a handful) of my Christian Facebook friends. These verses advise against rejoicing when an enemy falls. While I appreciate the Christlikeness of posting such verses in response to the death of a very wicked and evil man who most reason will spend an eternity of suffering for his actions, I believe posting such things could be construed as irreverent and disrespectful to those who lost their lives on September 11 and in the subsequent wars that followed.

This is why…

Actions have consequences-either on Earth or in eternity. While I don’t rejoice that an evil man is dead and is now (I believe) spending an eternity apart from God, I also believe that all of us have a chance to know God while we are on Earth. Osama bin Laden’s worldview was one so skewed that even his family disowned him. At his hand, thousands lost their lives (here and overseas) and we will never know the full scope of his terror even among Muslims. There is justice in the world, thank God, and men such as Mussolini, Hitler, Saddam Hussein, and now bin Laden have not been allowed to continue terror on Earth forever. This morning I thought about what this world would have become had no one stopped Hitler. I shuddered. We should NOT rejoice that bin Laden is in Hell, however in many instances relief and also a feeling of justice, is being confused with celebration.

Also, as so aptly pointed out by another friend last night, David-who God calls a man after his own heart-prayed for the demise of his enemies many times. Psalm 10, which I read today he says, “Oh Lord, you hear the desire of the afflicted; you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more.” While David refused to strike his enemy Saul, time and again (because Saul was God’s anointed) I cannot help but believe that he, too felt an overwhelming sense of relief and justice when Saul died.

There have always been madmen on Earth and there always will be. Sometimes they are stopped, sometimes they are not. In fact if we’re honest, no human being is many steps from evil themselves. Sadly, because evil will never be vanquished on this earth, there will always be wars, and uprisings, and death. Our world is fallen and because of that, innocent lives will be lost in order to achieve good. And sometimes, just sometimes an evil life will be lost in order to restore good.

***If you are reading this and you posted one of those verses yesterday-I may or may not have read it on your Facebook. I respect your opinion and your Christlikeness, we may see/or word things differently. But I’m pretty sure we’re saying the same thing at the end of the day.

Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?

It’s been a tumultuous 12 spring days in the South: one large oak across our back yard (15 ft South of the baby’s room), downed electricity, cable, and phone lines, 3 different nights in the bathroom closet with the dogs, the baby, the weather radio, and the lap top, 2 near-by towns leveled, and 14 people dead. The National Weather Service circled our part of the state yesterday and deemed it at high risk for more tornadoes. I was sick about it. Sick all day. We’d had enough, hadn’t we?

I’ve never been a fan of storms. It all started in the 3rd grade when I woke up in the basement to the news after a tornado. A little girl my age had just lost her mom. The next day at school, the sky turned black, we heard the train noise, and spent most of the day huddled in the hallways. I was nearly ‘over’ my ridiculous fear when a good friend took cover in her college dorm as a tornado destroyed her entire campus (yet spared every life).

In the last 12 days I have been once again reminded how wildly out of control we are of our lives. So many near misses and I still insist that I am in the enforcer of my future.

Yesterday in my fear, I chose to pray, to plead with God for a reprieve. The towns of Vilonia and Hot Springs Village here in Central Arkansas simply did not need more devastation. Selfishly, I too, wanted a break from huddling in the closet yet again. I opened my Bible and the next passage in line to read just happened to be Matthew 8:23-27. Quite apropos for me yesterday: this passage is entitled “Jesus Calms a Storm.”

In this passage, the disciples and Jesus go out in a boat onto the sea. While Jesus is sleeping, a great storm arises. The disciples (like me) were terrified and panicked. They woke him up, “Save us, Lord; we are perishing.” His response? “Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?” Scripture says then, “he rose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm.” The disciples were amazed and said, “What sort of man is this, that even the winds and sea obey him?”

Last night, the storms were predicted to carry large and dangerous tornadoes. They did carry tornadoes, there was damage,  and tragically one life was taken in the Northern part of our state. However, the storm event proved for most of the state to be much less powerful than expected. The towns that were leveled two nights ago, only suffered more rain. I believe that Jesus does hear our prayers, he does care about the details of our lives, and he still calms storms. Last night the weather men seemed surprised by the way the storms formed (literally there seemed to be a bubble over Central Arkansas), but I believe in a God who exhibited his mercy last night.

Two weeks ago, he showed mercy to us and our sweet baby girl by not allowing the tree in our neighbor’s to take our lives when it fell (only the lives of our power lines). I am humbled and grateful for our lives, which were spared. Others were taken, and I don’t know why.

So why am I afraid? I have such a weak faith and like the disciples. I am the Queen of worry-as if that changes anything at all (except the lining of my stomach).  God continues to shower me with his gifts, mercies, miracles, and goodness. And I believe in an eternity with him, so should life on the Earth end, life will begin in a more wonderful way than I can imagine.

As the God reminds you, please pray for all of the states and towns ravaged in the last few weeks and the families of those who were lost.  Please continue to pray for the rest of the South as storms move toward the East coast in the coming days.

Adventures in Selfishness: Part 1

(I posted this a while ago on an old blog, but am reposting on this blog…Sorry if you’ve read it before).

I knew I was selfish but I never knew the extent of it until I got married.

I was used to living my life-and frankly I thought I was pretty good at it.

Every morning I set my alarm for 6:42-leaving room for 2 9 minute snoozes.

I ate a bowl of cereal-usually granola.

I drank 1 cup of coffee while reading my bible and 1 cup of coffee while praying.

I headed to the gym where I ran, showered, and then headed to work.

When I came home I made dinner, read, watched TV. I did what I wanted to do.

 The things I wanted to do were admirable. I spent time with teenagers: loving them, listening to them, talking them through trials. I read good books. Sometimes I spent crazy amounts of time reading the Bible and learning. I worked out and ate expensive and healthy foods. I was wise with my money, putting all of my tax refund money or extra money to debt I had accrued during grad school on repairs to a clunker of an Oldsmobile called Oswalt. If I was running short on cash and friends wanted to eat out, I’d order soup and water.

I thought I had it all together….

When I met Matt, the layers of my selfishness began to dissolve, not rapidly-slowly. My days were no longer my own. My time was negotiated. But my time at home and my money-that was still all mine.

When we got married, my selfishness was exposed like nakedness.

In the mornings, Matt didn’t snooze the alarm twice or five times. Matt didn’t wake up 2 hours early or drink 2 cups of coffee. He didn’t even like the coffee as weak as I did (this in retrospect I imagine that many gracious roommates also did not like-I’ve since amended my coffee making skills). If I needed to get ready before him, I needed to be quiet. Suddenly, shared expenses with roommates was a thing of the past-money wasn’t just mine anymore-it was ours. When we went out, Matt didn’t want water with his meal or soup. Where to eat for dinner was a choice to make together. What to watch, what to do, where to live, what dogs to adopt, when to have kids, what to name our kids-decisions made together.

 No one can prepare you accurately for the ways life will change after you say I do. And a lot of it is really hard because we’re so used to living life for ourselves. To make matters worse, we live in a society that tells us that we SHOULD live for ourselves. So we get married and figure out that we have to give a little bit to make marriage work at all. And we find out to make marriage enjoyable, we have to give a lot.

Once my hair dresser scoffed when I wanted to keep my fine hair relatively long because Matt liked it that way, “Newlyweds.”

 The thing is this-the more I give the more satisfied I am. Giving is always like that-giving money, giving gifts, giving service. While the world is telling us to keep keep keep, we wonder why there are so many sad, depressed, lonely people with a lot of stuff, talents, and time.

 So no, I’ve not lost myself, I’m gaining (slowly) a better self. A happier self. A more selfless self.

To the ones who quit church…

The odds seem to be against the modern church.

In an increasingly pluralistic society, perhaps the church is simply not relevant anymore…or at least people don’t seem to think it is. So, people give up on church and seek out spirituality that fits into their own mold instead of following a prescribed one.

In the last two years I’ve been deeply saddened to know that a large number of students who used to be active members of the youth group where I served for 6 years, have completely dropped out of church and faith in Jesus.  Read: not judgemental, just…sad. Don’t get me wrong, growing up in church can mess you up sometimes. My husband and I talk about it all of the time. It wasn’t our parents who messed us up, it was church. No, that’s not true, it was the people at church.

Most kids growing up in church-Catholic, Protestant, etc., have childhood memories of being scolded by grouchy grown ups for just being kids. For instance, I once got in trouble for dropping my Bible. For real. I could go on with crazy church memories (some stretching into adulthood) but that would be pointless and I don’t want to belabor the point. People have been hurt by people at church. But that’s part of my point, the church is made up of people: some who love God and seek to emulate him, some who really don’t love God and don’t seek to emulate him, some who are there for a show, some who are there for tradition, and some who are there for the social aspect. Regardless-everyone in church is a person with faults. 

I’ll be the first to admit that even though I love Jesus and seek to be like him, I fail miserably and I fail on a regular basis. In my first years as a youth minister I was pretty blunt and my words were rarely sprinkled with compassion. This is a fact that I greatly regret. I’m sure I hurt kids’ feelings more than once. Sometimes I’m aloof and sometimes I just stumble around and say the wrong thing (ie. One time I told a kid that calling her was on my to do list-bad idea).   I’m sure I  hurt feelings in other ways and the list is probably pretty long.  And if you are reading this and are one of those kids who I hurt-I am truly sorry. As much as I tried to invest in lots of kids and take a lot of kids to Starbucks weekly, there was not enough time to hang out with every kid. In this way, I know I hurt feelings. For that I’m sorry, too.

But I became a youth minister because I strayed so far from my relationship with God while I was in college and I wanted kids to learn from my example (I’ve learned along the way that most people have to learn from their own examples). In college, I lost who I’d always known myself to be in ways….and not because I broke little Christian rules, but because I was out of communion with my Creator.  I fell away from God like we fall away from friendships. I just quit talking to him. I quit thinking he was awesome and isn’t that why most of us are friends with people-because we think they are awesome? And when we stop thinking that, we usually aren’t friends anymore. I fell away from God like we fall away from our parents when we are disappointing them, like when they really know what’s best because they love you and are twice your age? I did what I wanted and let me tell you, it wasn’t best. It was worst.

There’s a delineation that so many of us struggle with on a daily basis. Is religion a set of rules or is it faith in a relationship? Some churches have told us from childhood, “follow rules and then God will accept you,” or “be a good person.”  But if you believe that the Bible is true, then you will find that salvation comes from faith in Jesus. Not faith in Jesus + rules, because then it’s faith in Jesus + faith in me to follow the rules.  Anyway, you will find that it’s hard/impossible to keep all the rules. But oh man, the rules thing MESSES WITH US! And sometimes the worse we behave the more we think that we aren’t worthy of a Savior, that God won’t want to hear from us, and then we just give it up for good because we are so far-gone it doesn’t matter anymore-like a perfectionist who says “screw it” and lets their life go and then before you know it they are featured on TLC’s Hoarders (well maybe not-but you know).

But just for a second think about that friend who you lost somewhere along the way-and when they come back around, how you can love them-how you find out that you still think they are awesome. And then, if you’re a parent, imagine your sweet child when they aren’t so sweet and how you still love them so much it burns in your heart. Then KNOW that this is how God feels about us. No matter how far we drift, it’s not ever too far to turn back around. And the more time we spend time with Him, the more we become like him…just like we are so similar to our friends and family.

All of a sudden, my Senior year I woke up-due in large part to a wonderful mentor, Heather, and I started loving Jesus again. And my life was different and not because of ridiculous rules, but because of the freedom that came from letting go of myself.  

But that doesn’t mean the struggle ended and this is what I have to say to my sweet kids from Wedgwood who I think of nearly daily, who do not walk with Jesus anymore…and also to anyone who used to love the Lord and doesn’t anymore.

1. Sometimes walking with Jesus is elusive and doesn’t seem logical. This is something I struggle with daily. I still wrestle with the idea of praying and why we need to and if God even hears us. I went through a spell my last year in Texas in which I felt so dry and God felt so distant. And then one day on a drive home from Dallas Love Field, he spoke. He spoke clearly and all He said was, “I’m here and I’ve not left you.” Adults and the spiritually pious will act like they have it all together-but they DON’T! I don’t. Today I chose to play on my computer for a long time before I finally decided maybe I should spend some time with God. Walking with Christ is hard and sometimes tedious.

2. Jesus really does love you no matter what and he wants you to draw near to him.  I’m not talking about having a 30 minute quiet time. I’m not talking about the sometimes legalistic stuff we’ve all taught you in church. Quiet times are great and needed. But Jesus doesn’t want your rote 30 minutes in the morning just so you can check it off your list-he doesn’t want it from me either.  He wants our worship. Sometimes that means running a mile. Eric Liddell, of the classic movie Chariots of Fire said, “I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure.” For me, feeling God’s pleasure means being engulfed in music.  For others, it’s splattering canvas on a piece of paper or building something.  But in whatever way He made you to worship him, He wants us close, AND he wants us to listen. Sometimes I feel so far from God that I’m actually sort of embarrassed to approach Him again-and this is just how the enemy wants it. He wants to keep a broken communion broken and he will do anything he can to keep us from the Throne.

3. Please don’t quit church because of people. After a Master’s degree and 6 years on staff at a large church running ministries, I moved to Little Rock and tried to get involved at a new church only to be turned away and not needed over and over. That time in my life was very hard. I was hurt and let down by the church. I felt useless. But the thing is, churches are made up of hurting people, too. None of us are perfect. Someone wise (Richard Ross) once compared the church to marriage (yeah-Paul does, too but this time it was a friend). He said, “what if my friends told me that they love me but they hate my wife?  The Church is Jesus’ wife-you don’t get to choose whether you love her or not-they are a package deal-her faults and all.” And it’s true. We need communion. When I’m out of communion with other believers, the world is a little fuzzier, like I need reading glasses. You can try to talk yourself out of church-but if you believe the Bible, you’ll have a hard time doing it.

4. If you are feeling judged by people in the church 85% of that is you judging yourself. 15% of that is that some people are judgmental.

5. Even though right now, it seems that your way of no church and no Jesus is more fun-you will find, eventually that this world can ensnare and entangle. The things that seem to pull you are pulling you and you may find yourself lonelier and less fulfilled than ever. This happens to all of us on a daily basis-will I serve myself, this world, or God? You are not alone in this choice. It’s a hard one-the world is enticing, but it does not satisfy. Kind of like that Coke I drank at Disney World in the middle of July when I KNEW I should have a water and before I knew it I was reeling. That’s what the world is like. Like a coke on a hot day.

6. It’s never too late to come home. There is freedom in Jesus. Not in religion, but in Jesus. We have all been prodigals in some way and I can tell you from this side-I am at peace. I am at home. Please come back. I pray for you all the time and I love you and I’m still here-just farther away.

Some thoughts on Fargo…just a little late

Last night Matt was in charge of picking out the movie (and making dinner). Before his trip to Blockbuster, he was perusing the AFI top 100 Movies list (a list which I tried to get through in college thanks in large part to 49. movie Tuesdays at our local movie store). So when he came home with the Coen brothers’ Fargo, I wasn’t too surprised.

Brief plot description

This midwestern guy, Jerry Lundegaard (William H. Macy) hires two thugs (Steve Buscemi and Peter Stormare) to kidnap his wife, Jean. The plan is to split the ransom of 80,000 (which Jerry thinks he’ll get from his father in law) and call it a day (apparently Jerry has some financial woes). As you can imagine, things go awry rather quickly. Along the way, the kidnappers get pulled over, thereby killing the state trooper and subsequently 2 kids who happen to drive by. Jerry’s father in law refuses to let Jerry hand over the ransom (which he tells him is 1 million-shady), and Jerry’s father in law gets shot to pieces by kidnapper #1. Then, when this guy discovers that he has 1 million dollars instead of 80,000, he tries to rob kidnapper #2, who eventually beats him up and throws him in the wood chopper. Luckily, Marge Gunderson (Frances McDormand), the local police chief saves the day with some good home style Minnesotan investigation and logic. Kidnapper #2 and Jerry get arrested and we’re left to assume that Jean is alive but on her way to the hospital.

Thoughts

Sooooo… (said in your thickest Minnesota accent-I can give you lessons if you need them, I’m pretty good at it thanks to living with a cheery Minnesotan named Elysia for 2 years in college, and hours of practicing in the summer of 2001 with my sister Laura) here are my thoughts on this film.

1. Wowzers Batman-talk about violence! This film is not one for the weak hearted. The profanity is a forethought compared to all the gore-though it’s pretty bad, too.

2. The acting and writing are superb. Say what you will about the Coens but this is true of all their movies-even the awful ones (ahem...Burn After Reading, Barton Fink).

3. The plot line is compelling. When the dvd started acting up I was really frustrated-even though I was sick to my stomach for the majority of the movie.

But here’s the thing, it’s a waste of time to watch movies like this and not derive some truth from them. Some movies can just be enjoyed for what they are (i.e. anything by Norah Ephron) but to just enjoy all this gore is kinda sick, so let’s think a little harder.

First of all, this movie is the PERFECT example of good and evil, healthy and sick. On the one hand, we have Jean and Jerry. Clearly, their marriage is dysfunctional as Jerry sells her out for a million bucks. Although he’s gotten himself into some trouble-he’d rather risk the health of his family than swallow his pride and talk to her about it. When he comes home to find his wife kidnapped (after what was clearly a struggle) he practices about 4 times before he calls his father in law. This guy is a real shmuck0.

On the other hand, we have Marge and Norm Gunderson. Theirs is a marriage of selflessness, commitment, encouragement, and friendship. Fargo is sprinkled with glimpses of their sacrificial love for one another. He makes her eggs, she buys him night crawlers, he brings her burgers, etc. It’s the kind of relationship that makes me want to be a better wife.

Next, (and this one’s for the teenagers who may be watching this movie even though they aren’t allowed to see Rated R films) we see clearly not to get wrapped up in the wrong crowd-duh. The people we get wrapped up with influence and affect our lives for good and for bad. Most of the time, we cannot foresee how a bad connection or friendship will hurt us. Jerry Lundegaard didn’t foresee that his little business deal would mean 4 innocent lives and a lifetime in prison (probably).

Finally, Fargo is one of the clearer pictures of the way sin will lead us down a destructive path. I do remember my dad watching this movie around the time it came out and this is what he said…

Sin will take you farther than you ever intended to go…keep you longer than you ever intended to stay…and cost you more than you ever intended to pay.

This quote he borrowed from Kay Arthur (a brilliant theologian-look her up, buy her books) and it perfectly sums up this film. From the opening credits to the closing song we watch Jerry Lundegaard ride a derailed roller coaster through the snow banks of Minnesota. His circumstances go from bad to worse to unfathomable.

And we, friends, are one awful decision away from riding that same roller coaster. I doubt anyone reading this blog plans on hiring guys to kidnap their spouses (I hope) but when we step outside of the will of God, we are entering into the world of sin-and that is a world controlled by darkness, a world in which we have no control. And just like Jerry’s sin, our sin no matter how big or small can have devastating effects on our lives and the lives of our loved ones.

But there is hope…

In John 8:1-11 we read the story of a woman caught in adultery. When the Pharisees suggest she should be stoned for such an offense, Jesus responds, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her” (NIV). When they all turn away and leave, Jesus’ next words to the woman are monumental…”Has no one condemned you? Go now and leave your life of sin.”

No, we won’t be sin free this side of Heaven-but Jesus’ standards for us are high-”Don’t sin.” And His standards are for our own good-they are to keep us from spinning out of control, from hurting ourselves and others. They are intended to keep our relationships healthy, loving, and happy.

Living up to these standards brings glory to Him because he gives us the strength to live up to them. Jesus says in John 8:12, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

Praise God for the opportunity to walk in the light and may we always choose it over the darkness.

Song of Solomon

I grew up on music-James Taylor, Billy Joel, Carol King. My sisters and I spent many hours dancing around our living room singing along to our parents’ records. My dad took me to my first concert when I was in the 4th grade, it was Amy Grant. I was ecstatic. It wasn’t for my birthday or Christmas-it was just for fun-and the tickets were a whopping $15. It was the best. I loved every second of it. My taste in music has obviously evolved over the years….I went through the musical theatre phase (um..sometimes I’m still in it), I went through the Lilith Fair stage (and am happily out of it), and now I’ve sort of locked into to British/Australian rock-U2, Coldplay, Hillsong United and also singer/songwriter stuff (Ray LaMontagne, Patti Griffin, etc) for the last 8 or 9 years. 

Music rules my life in many ways…and for me, it is communion with God. It is a vivid and exciting gateway to Him. When I’m feeling off, many times it’s because I’ve not taken time to worship through the beauty of music.

So, a few weeks ago, for my belated (1st) Mother’s Day present, my husband took me to Nashville for a live taping of a Radio Show called Tokens at Lipscomb University. Tokens is “Nashville’s Old Time Radio show.” It’s a night  of theology, music, books, and stories. The musicians for this particular evening were Over the Rhine (the reason we were going and one of my favorite bands), Jill Phillips, Andy Gullahorn, Buddy Greene, and Our Most Outstanding Horeb Mountain Boys. The evening also featured author, Rodney Clap and the Tokens Radio Players. It was wonderful, and as I sat there enjoying myself, maybe I prayed a little that I could move there.

I left feeling full, feeling joyous, feeling worshipful…and here’s what I finally noticed as I listened to Over the Rhine and Jill Phillips/Andy Gullahorn.

Some musicians are like David. They say exactly what they mean. Their lyrics are overtly worshipful. Sometimes they sing scripture, sometimes they sing modern-day hymns. There is no need to pick apart the meaning behind their songs, it’s obvious…and sometimes I need that.  These are the artists that get signed by Christian Labels and sold in Christian stores. They get asked to play at Billy Graham Crusades and Youth Nights at Six Flags. They reach primarily church goers.

But some musicians are like Solomon. Their lyrics are a little more coded, a little more poetic, a little harder to figure out. Their songs peel apart like onions, a little bit at a time…and sometimes I need a songs like that. Sometimes I need to think, I need to delve deeply to understand, because God is not simple. . These artists get signed to secular labels. They play in big stadiums or bars at South by Southwest. They sing “Be Thou My Vision” in a crowded bar in Deep Ellum, Dallas. They reach all walks of life.

Sometimes I need to read the Psalms and praise God that the man after His own heart felt at times the same ways I feel now, thousands of years later.  But other times I need to read Song of Solomon, Proverbs, and Ecclesiastes and remember that God cares about the stuff of life like sex, love, family, and wisdom. Both are needed. Both bring us closer to God. Both enable worship. Thank God, for our modern day Davids and Solomons.

The Invention of Lying Review

  

Most of America is finally catching on to the fact that the genious of The Office began years ago in Great Britain with a boss named David who put Michael Scott to shame with his irreverance and awkwardness. I tried to get Matt to watch this with me and he couldn’t even handle one episode.

Ricky Gervais, the creator and mastermind of both the UK and US versions of The Office is also the writer and producer of the 2009 film, The Invention of Lying. I rented this flick the other night and have been mulling it over ever since. So much so, that I think it deserves another viewing.

As you’ll notice in the above trailor, Gervais’ character Mark Bellison lives in a world in which everyone tells the truth all the time. Not only do they tell the truth, they seem to have no inner dialogue whatsoever. So, as you can imagine, the downtrodden, unsuccessful, and unattractive have nothing in this society. The superficiality that most of us keep neatly tucked away, is freely displayed in this movie. Mark Bellison, despite his wit and talent, is unattractive-thus deemed a loser. Until the day when he discovers lying. When he tries to explain this phenomenon, no one can wrap their minds around it. Thus he quickly advances in his career and relationships because no one ever questions him-and why should they?

This movie is creative, funny, and endearing; a must see for sure. Ricky Gervais’ acting is top notch, furthering my belief that comics really are the best actors out there. He breaks away from David Brent/Andy Millman kind of character that he seems to play so effortlessly in The Office and Extras. You will find yourself rooting for him instead of cringing at his ridiculous behavior.

Perhaps the most interesting thing about this movie is the lie that Mark Bellison tells to his dying mother about an after life and subsequently, a Creator. As Mark paints a picture of eternal joy, singing, and mansions for his dying mom, the nurses and doctors are entranced by such an idea. Upon arriving home the next day, Mark finds a slew of people and journalists eagerly awaiting the man who knows something no one else knows. With the support of his friends, Anna and Greg (Jennifer Garner and Louis C.K.) Mark fills in his story (lie) of a man in the sky, who serves as Sovereign Creator of the world-and the people buy it and they love it. And the world is changed forever.

Many people watching this movie would say this is a picture of the “opiate for the masses” idea. And maybe it is, if you’re a cynic. But maybe it’s something more, something I doubt Gervais had in mind as he scripted this film. Perhaps, if we stop we’ll see that in us all there IS a desire for more…for something deeper…something that goes beyond this life….something that transcends mortality.

I’ve thought many times in my adult life that had I not become a Christ follower as a kid, it never would have happened. Even after 3 and a half years of grad school for a Theology degree and an entire life in church, I sometimes think, “man, this Christianity thing is crazy.” Some guy who called himself the Son of God, came down and lived a perfect life, died on a cross, carried the sins of the world, and all I have to do is believe it and I can enjoy eternity with him? Nuts. Right? Yes.

But then, I remember all the tangible evidence that have always pointed me to a Creator:

The time in North Carolina with my youth group, dancing in the summer heat, with little kids from the projects and Theresa (who I’m sure was on meth) whispered in my ear, “God is here.” And He was.

The times I’ve known that something bigger than I can fathom is guiding my words and actions.

The way that voices rose in that old yellow school bus in Maracaibo, Venezuela in different languages to worship a Creator God.

The way that we always seem to make it financially each month although the numbers never make sense.

The way that even in sickness and health and depression and calamity, strength is still possible through my God.

The way my mom can smile through Parkinson’s Disease (though it’s not ideal 0r what we want).

Could it be that what King Solomon proclaimed in Ecclesiastes “He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end” is true?

Could it be that at our fingertips we could experience the goodness of God on Earth and then someday in Heaven if we believe? Could it be that everlasting life does exist and our hearts are already fashioned to know it…..deep down…..below our carefully guarded cynicism and anger? Could it be that evil in the world, and greed, and hatred, and percecution is the work of man and not God? Could it be that we have corrupted this world all on our own?

I think so. I believe so.

To me, God is real. He is here with me even now. I can talk to Him and trust Him with the things I don’t understand and the things I will never understand this side of Heaven. I can believe that He wants what’s best-sometimes this means strength through pain and loss-but it’s always best in the end. God is not my Opiate, He’s my Savior, my everything. And it is crazy. But, it’s also real.

On the Person of Jesus

There are many reasons that I believe in the person of Jesus. Pretty much, everybody admits that he exists as a historical figure, no problem. But it’s when the topic of his Deity arises, that people begin to freak out. When it comes to Jesus, there seem to be three or so categories that people fall into.

1. The God Category: These people think Jesus was all man and all God. They don’t try (or they try and fail) to wrap their minds around this. Jesus said he was all God and all man, and they believe it.

2.The Jesus was a good guy Category: These people think Jesus had good theories and did good things. People in this category can easily compare Jesus to Buddha or Gandhi or even Muhammad. A good guy, not God, but a good guy worth emulating.

3.The Jesus was an Enemy Category: I would imagine extremists of some kind feel this way or maybe some Atheists, some Satanists? I don’t know, but I’m sure some people will fall into this category.

Here’s what I think, and it’s pretty extreme, I think categories 1 and 3 are legitimate. Category 2 is bogus, and unfortunately this is where most people fall, so I’ll explain. If you read through the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke,and John-the beginning of the New Testament), you ‘ll notice that Jesus makes some really radical claims. Perhaps the most radical claim is this, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6 New American Standard Version). I always think of this verse when I think of religious pluralism. If Jesus intended for people to come to God through multiple passageways, I don’t think he would have said so clearly, “Hey guys, I’m the way to God!” I think he would have said something like this, “Hey guys, I’m one of the ways to God!” Then Christ followers who claim multiple paths to God would have a leg to stand on.

(Note: believing Jesus is the only way to God, does not make me intolerant, I can easily tolerate other religions and love people from other religions. I just don’t believe what they believe, and in most cases they don’t believe what I believe. Devout Muslims and Jews think they’ve found the only way to God, also. Devout Catholics and even some Baptists don’t think any other denominations are going to Heaven.)

Jesus makes some other radical claims throughout the Gospels. When Jesus was on trial before the Sanhedrin (before the crucifixion) his response to the question, “are you the Son of God?” was quite simply, “Yes, I am.” (Luke 22:70, NAS). In our day and age people say they are God’s children and children of God a lot. But this was different. Jesus claimed to be the Messiah, prophesied about for generations and sent from God to redeem humanity. In our society if someone claims to be the Messiah, he ends up in the psych ward and quickly. He isn’t hailed as a modern day prophet and a “good man” (well, if he is, it’s by other crazies and then they all drink koolaid or burn the whole thing down). This is what I’m saying, if this claim that Jesus is God is false and he’s proclaiming he’s the Messiah he’s either lying or crazy. In our world we don’t exalt either of these personality types. They acquire fame, yes, but we don’t create religions to follow people like this.

On top of the claims Jesus made, he also did outrageous things. To name a few: he walked on water (Matthew 14: 22-34), he healed people (Matthew 15: 29-31), he rose the dead (John 11:1-46), he himself rose from the dead (John 20, Luke 24, Mark 16, Matthew 28). This list goes on and on. The fact is, normal “good people” don’t do these things. This doesn’t happen in reality. So, it’s either true or it’s not. These things happened or they didn’t happen.

I don’t see a middle ground when it comes to the person of Jesus. He’s either a liar, or a crazy, or he’s God, like he said he was. So, for me, I choose to believe the latter. I choose to believe that he died to save me from my sins and he rose again three days later. Intellectually, I have to believe this is true. The other alternative would lead me to Atheism.

Sometimes when I think about this somewhat intangible thing I believe and this God I’ve given my life to and his Son, Jesus, I think it’s all crazy. And it is. It doesn’t all make sense to me. I can’t wrap my mind around it and begin to fathom what it means and who God is, but I guess that’s what makes it faith. The other alternative (Atheism) requires, in my opinion, a lot more faith.

These ideas are nothing new. For more check out More than a Carpenter by Josh McDowell or better yet, Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis.

The Christian response to Lost

The internet is a buzz with discussions about the Lost finale last night. Some people are disappointed, some are satisfied, some are angry, and most of us are just still thinking. In fact, I have to say that everytime I woke up last night, I was thinking about the finale and its meaning.

What struck me this morning, while I was perusing Facebook comments on the subject, was the fact that so many Christians were disappointed that the finale did not deliver a more theologically sound conclusion.  My first reaction to this was to roll my eyes and sigh dramatically. Come on Christians, did you really expect a show with mere undertones of spirituality to deliver a Biblical perspective on the afterlife (or life for that matter)? 

My reaction throughout the day to disappointed Christians remains the same, but I’ve formulated my thoughts as the day has progressed.

Why Christians shouldn’t be disappointed with the Lost finale….

We shouldn’t be disappointed with Lost because the writers/producers never promised us theological accuracy. If there are open Christ followers on the writing team, I’ve certainly never heard about it, and I think we would have heard about it by now. Come on, J.J. Abrams never said he was the next C.S. Lewis or J.R. Tolkien. Similarly, the writers/producers of Lost never said that it was an allegory. Yet for some reason Christians have been trying to force Lost into an allegorical box. We’ve done the same thing to Lord of the Rings even though Tolkien, himself, chastised Lewis for his use of allegory.

The island could be Heaven, yeah I guess, but if it were, it sure isn’t perfect. Also, it could be Purgatory, but if it was, Protestants should have caught on LOOOOONNNNGGG ago that the show wouldn’t be theologically satisfying for them. Why does the finale all of a sudden have people up in arms? Also, the episode explaining the origin of Jacob and the Smoke Monster/MIB confuses the heck out of me. If Jacob was a Christ figure or a figure of good, then why is his “mother” an unabashed murderer/liar? Why did he appear so weak? Why was he not the first choice to guard the island? Nothing fits neatly into a Biblical box, so if you want allegory read Lewis or Francine Rivers, but don’t make Lost something it’s not.

Secondly, while some of the characters on Lost are blatantly spiritual/Christian/Catholic (Mr. Ekko and Rose), most of the characters do not seem to ascribe to any type of religion. Sure we can deduce that some are Muslim (Sayid), Buddhist (Jin and Sun), and Christian/Catholic (all of the Americans, Brits, and Australians), but we don’t really see any of them talking about their faith or acting on it.

Having said that, I cannot think of another secular show in my lifetime that has portrayed Christians so beautifully. Rose is portrayed as a woman of deep faith who trusts that her husband Bernard is alive, despite all odds. Mr. Ekko, though his past is sordid, is kind and good. Usually Christians are portrayed by movies, tv, and the media as idiots or as bigots. I can appreciate a show that, while not directly endorsing Christianity, at least respects it.

Finally, if Christians want Christ themes in movies and tv they need to be a part of making it happen. Why do we expect Hollywood to deliver Christian themes when by in large, Hollywood does not claim to be Christ-centered? Though Facing the Giants and Fireproof are not particularly well acted movies, I give props to Sherwood Baptist Church and Alex Kendrick for making Christ centered films. Also I give props to my brother in law for being a Christian film school student. I’m sure he will someday touch the world and the Church with his films.

What we can gain from Lost…

Too often Christians dismiss art of all kinds that is not directly religious. But I believe God can be experienced in all kinds of art, regardless of the artist. If in the end, we believe that God made the artist, then we believe that he enabled the artist to create the art in the first place.  Though I don’t necessarily believe that Lost is an allegory, I do think there are many themes in Lost that we can learn from-too many to mention, but these are a few:

Redemption:

Lost reminds us that redemption is available to everyone regardless of their pasts. Most of the characters on Lost have really messy pasts, but the island gives them a new purpose for life. Some people accept their new purpose, while others resist it. We are all messed up, too and I believe that redemption is available to all men and women through faith in Jesus. Some of us will accept this with faith, while others will resist it.

Forgiveness/Reconciliation:

Lost reminds us of the importance of community, forgiveness, and reconciliation. Let’s think of all the bad relationships on the island that were eventually reconciled: Locke/Jack, Jack/Sawyer, Walt/Michael, Ben/Hurley, Shannon/Boone, Kate/Jack, Jin/Sun, Charlie/Claire…the list goes on. There is nothing on Earth more important than our relationships with God and people. In the end the characters on Lost learned this lesson.

Heaven:

I think the most moving scene in the whole series was Jack’s arrival in “Heaven.” Though, I disagree with Lost’s description of the afterlife, what a beautiful picture of Heaven it was. Imagine the reunion with all the people we’ve lost in life and the perfection that is Eternity with our Creator. It will be a place where all things are made right-where ailments are healed, and there is no sin or pain. It’s indescribable and incomprehensible, and last night I was reminded of how glorious eternity will be.

The reality of Good and Evil:

You can deny it all you want, but in the world, there is Good and there is Evil. Lost is a reminder that we will always be caught in the balance between these two realities. Sometimes, we won’t even know which side we’re on.  Toward the end of Lost, it was difficult to know which side was evil and which side wasn’t. Our day-to-day life can be just as muddled. This is why it’s important, as a Believer, to be constantly praying for discernment to choose between good and bad, better and best.

In Conclusion…

I’ve said from the beginning that Lost is an amazing show, full of great acting, flawless writing, and spiritual undertones. It is not overtly Christian, nor do I believe it to be perfectly analogous to anything. It is creative, it is fiction, it is over.

Of course, we all have questions that were left unanswered. Why did pregnant women die on the island? What was the deal with Charles Widmore?  Why were the Others kidnapping children in the first two seasons? What about Walt?

All in all, Lost has left me thinking deeply about the stuff of life and I can honestly say, I was deeply moved and satified by its finale.

To Confess or not to Confess

I’ve been thinking a lot the balance between honesty and confession for a while and I think it’s time to talk about it.

Several years ago a friend came to me and confessed that he had been talking about me (behind my back) to his friends-friends I did not know and would never meet. To make a long story short, we’d toyed with the idea of dating one another and when it became clear that our relationship would never succeed, our friendship had naturally become strained and awkward. It was wrong of him to talk about me behind my back, BUT there was no way that I’d ever find out he’d been doing it-had he not told me. While, I’m sure this confession made him feel better, it made me feel horrible. While I’d been thinking that we’d peaceably gone our separate ways, he’d been spreading mean things about me behind my back.  My blissful ignorance had been breached. Not to mention that his timing was atrocious (Valentines Day).

This got me thinking-who did this confession benefit? Was it uplifting? Did it further the work of Christ? Was it God honoring?

I think we (Christians) do this kind of thing a lot. In the name of spiritual sounding acts, like confession, we still wind up being self involved, unkind, and hurtful.

My friend actually acted selfishly. It was an underhanded way to take one more jab at me and remind me that he had been upset with me. 

Why Confess?

In our relationship with God, confession is vital. God is all-knowing, so technically confessing our sins to him does not present him with any new information. However, it deepens our intimacy with God and it restores our communion with God.  Confession plays the same roll in our relationships with people. 

James 5:16 tells us, “confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” Confession of our sins to each other leads us to prayer and then to healing, so it is unbelievalbly important. We should be confessors, but we need to be discerning about who to confess to and what to say.

When to Confess.

If we have directly wronged someone-we need to apologize. For instance, when I am curt (as I often tend to be) with my husband, I need to confess that to him. Yes, he knows I’m being curt with him, so it’s no surprise, but I still need to tell him. Just like I tell God things that He already knows. This lets my husband know that I know I’ve been a jerk. It builds a reconciliation bridge and leads toward healing. Also, it reminds him to pray for me.

If we are struggling with secret sins, we need to confess them to our friends and accountability partners. Why? Once again, we need the gain prayer support of our brothers and sisters in Christ with healing as the eventual goal. I’ve been struggling with impatience lately so I told my husband and my sister-I know they’ll pray for me and I believe God will provide healing from this issue.

When not to confess.

Confession of undeserved anger and resentment toward others (stemming from secret sin) is inappropriate and hurtful. Because it only creates hurt, we don’t need to do it. For instance, when my friend was slandering me, he should have confessed his slander to God and then to the friends to whom he slandered me. Had he done this, 1. his friends would have seen Jesus working in him, 2. they would have prayed for him, and 3. I would have been spared needless hurt.

Confession is a tricky thing, but if we study its purpose: to gain prayer support, healing, and reconciliation, we will use it more effectively. If our confession results in hurt feelings, we’ve used it inappropriately.

We should tell Jesus what we’ve been doing or thinking or feeling and ask him how to appropriately confess it to our brothers and sisters.